Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Challenged

On Saturday, we went out to explore different ethnic communities in Chicago. There are TONS of them!! This is a pic of the students I took out that day. We had the privilege of going to an area called West Ridge. We walked up and down Devon Street, which has probably 7-8 different ethnic communities represented on that one street!! Including Jewish, Pakistani, Indian, Russian, Muslim, Greek Orthodox, Lebanese, etc. It was amazing!


Our goal was to go and observe and explore each community to broaden our knowledge base and open our eyes to the ways in which each community did life. What an incredible opportunity!! Boy were our eyes opened!!


We split into smaller groups so as to not overwhelm the communities with a group of 8 people who obviously don't live in the community. :) My group after about 10 minutes found a man on a bench and we decided to talk to him to hear his story. He was probably in his 70s, a refugee from Iraq. He has been living in the states for 8 months. He lives with his wife and two daughters. He cannot find a job. His daughters are going to school to learn English so that they can get a job. He lives in a TINY apartment (he showed us) with his family. And they pay $750 in rent with no jobs! They had to leave Iraq because things were so bad over there. We asked him if he missed Iraq. You could see the sadness in his eyes! It broke my heart! But hearing him talk about his life, his homeland, his family, being in America - was amazing!! He wanted/needed to be heard!! And what an incredible blessing it was that God chose us to hear his story!!


We had lunch as a group that day at an Indian restaurant! First time most of us had tried authentic Indian food!! It was incredible!!


While we were eating lunch, out the windows, we saw all of kinds of Muslim men walking to some sort of gathering. So when we were done eating, we went outside and asked what was going on. One of the men told us that they were having an annual Muslim gathering that day. How crazy we were on that street exploring on the day of the Muslim gathering! God is so funny!! So, a couple of our students started talking with a Muslim man - they wanted to hear his story (this was part of our assignment for the exploration). This individual actually was not originally from America and he actually directed us to go across the street and talk to another Muslim man who was from America and who chose to become a Muslim rather than grew up in a culture where it was expected. We found out later that a Muslim (in this area) will talk to someone who is not Muslim if you come from similar areas or origin (born in the U.S.). That is why this man sent us across the street because the Muslim man across the street was originally from Chicago.



We headed across the street and so as to not overwhelm this man and his two friends with him, we again split into two groups. One group approached this man to talk and the other group walked around the neighborhoods on this part of the street to do some more exploring.



Allison and I (another staff) were SOOOOO proud of the students!! Both groups ended up in front of this man and the dialogue that took place between this Muslim man, his two disciples, and our students (and us - staff) was INCREDIBLE!!!!!!! This man was brilliant! He was articulate, deeply intelligent, a leader, persuasive, influential.... and the list could go on and on! And what could have scared our students away, only intrigued them and made them converse more and ask more questions!! This man was not in a place to really hear about the Gospel, he wanted to focus on what we all agreed on and would not allow discussion to go into anything we disagreed on!



But, friends, it was an AMAZING experience!! Not only for the students!! WHAT A HUGE CHALLENGE TO YOUR FAITH TO HAVE A CONVERSATION LIKE THAT!!!! The biggest thing this man could not accept about being a follower of Jesus was the concept of the Trinity. He could not accept or understand the idea that God could be three separate beings and all One at the same time. And honestly, that is a huge concept to understand! And if we're all honest with ourselves, we don't understand it! And we never will completely! We have to at some point accept it by faith! And this man could not do that. But, boy, did the students try to get him to understand! They didn't just simply accept the fact that he didn't get it - they came back with their solid thoughts, ideas, and Biblical, real-world examples to try and make him understand.



About 10-15 minutes into our conversation, other Muslim men (who had come for the gathering) had joined around our group and this man and his disciples to listen in on the conversation. By the end of the conversation, there was at least 20-25 Muslim men gathered around us listening to the interaction!! The man leading the conversation asked at one point how much more time we would like with him - we all decided on about 10 more minutes. But after about 3 minutes, this man looked around and saw the crowd that had formed and said we needed to go our separate ways. He said that if the police came by, they would stop because so many people were gathered and wonder what was going on - He commented that even though nothing was happening, the police would stop and blame them (referring to the Muslims) for "whatever" was happening. Super sad reality, huh??



And the even crazier thing is that for this gathering, there were no women or children present. And obviously in our group there was a few women in on this experience. And what we found out was, this man and his disciples should not have been talking to the women in our group!! He even shook two of their hands in the beginning - however, at the end, once the crowd had formed, he would not shake any of the women's hands. You could tell his disciples, sitting on either side of him, were very uncomfortable that he had shaken the women's hands in the beginning and that he was being as open in talking when women were present!!



Couple things about this interaction were super challenging for me... the first was when one of this man's disciples asked a question (well, asked his leader first if he could get permission to ask us a question). He asked, "Are you a Christian just because you are an American? Or do you actually believe and that is why you are a Christian?" What he was trying to articulate (he had some trouble with English) was are we simply Christians because we call ourselves Americans and "American" and "Christian" seem to just go together? Or do we call ourselves Christians because we actually believe in something and have a lifestyle that is different and that is what makes us Christians?? In his mind, all he saw since he came to America was everyone just calling themselves "Christians" because they lived in this country. But nothing was different about the way they lived their lives.


The other thing that was both challenging and heart-breaking was the influence and leadership this man exhibited. In debriefing with our students after our experience, the one thing many of them commented on was how if this man had been a Christian, he was such an influential and powerful speaker that he could have brought many to Christ through his words and witness! And the reality was, because he is such a powerful and influential leader, he brings many young men in their 20s to Muslim because of his words and witness being a Muslim man!! That being said, why aren't we vocal, powerful, and influential in our words and witness as Christians?? Why don't we have that much passion for our beliefs and the God we serve?? Or if we do have that much passion, do others see it?? Why do we not stop people on the corner and tell them about how our lives have changed because of a man named Jesus?? Wow!!! If our passion, love, and commitment for Christ manifested in the way this man's passion and commitment to being Muslim did.... it would be incredible!!!! Kingdom-growing for sure!!


Sorry this post is so long! It was just so amazing, challenging, and overwhelming that I couldn't just sum it up in a few words! And the words I did use, still didn't do it justice! But I wanted to share!


Much love!!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Let's rewind...

I was up this morning by 5:45am - got myself ready, had some quiet time, ate some breakfast, and now I have a blessed moment to breath and update my blog. I want to share some of the things God has taught me, told me, reminded me, and encouraged me with over the past week.

Last Sunday (my first Sunday in Chicago), as a staff team, we attended an incredible church on the south side of Chicago. And God totally gave the pastor the words to speak directly to my need and to my heart. What a huge blessing after the way I was feeling last Friday and Saturday!!

The sermon was entitled, "When the end of the road is just a bend in the road." I'm just going to write some of the points the pastor shared in his message.
- God uses tragedies in our lives to accomplish His eternal purposes.
- God says, "My glory is more important than your good."
- Whenever my pleasure interferes with His purpose, He allows pain.
- Everything in us that doesn't look like Christ, He is carving off.
- To know ultimately what you don't see immediately, yet you feel it intimately until you take it in experientially.
- Until you raise your hand in obedience, He will not let you see His provision. (ex: Abraham and Isaac - Abraham did not see the ram until He put Isaac on the altar)
- The trouble you're going through is for the future you're going to.
- YET I will praise Him!!

Then on Wednesday, I was having my quiet time with God and the subject of my devotional was "Rest in Me, my child."
Psalm 62:5 - Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.
I Thes. 5:17 - Pray continually.

And upon reading the devotional and the Scripture that accompanied it, I wrote in my journal, "God I am amazed at how personally and intimately you love and take care of me!" Oh, how I needed to hear those words! I needed my Father in Heaven to remind me to rest in HIM!! I needed to hear the words from Pastor Ford on Sunday saying God will never let a difficult time in your life go unused! I needed to be encouraged to continue to be obedient to God and that He will take care of the rest!

Oh, I almost forgot! Also, last weekend, one of our leaders, Marc, did a devotional focused around Hebrews 13:20-21 (paraphrased) - May the God of Peace -- equip you with everything good for doing His will, and may He work in us what is pleasing to Him, through Christ Jesus. What the study of this Scripture and God speaking through Marc reminded us is that all we have to do is show up! Even if we don't always have the desire, we just need to show up and God will do the rest - He will provide the desire/motivation, He will provide the "stuff", and He will do all of the work!! What a HUGE relief!

So.... I know that is a lot of scattered thoughts and ideas! :) But through all of that and an INCREDIBLE conversation with the leader who is discipling me this summer - GOD COVERED ME WITH HIS LOVE, PRESENCE, PROMISES, AND POWER!!! And I have over the last few days revisited those promises again and again, praying God keeps them at the forefront of my mind and deeply rooted in my heart!!

I am HIS daughter. HE has chosen for me to be here. HE lives passionately in me. All I have to do is lean on Him, rest in Him, stay rooted in His Word, focus on His promises and presence, and SHOW UP!! And He will do the rest!

So, that's what I am trying to do! Take this summer moment-by-moment, relying on the only unconditionally loving and all-knowing God who has 100 times better than the best planned for me! And the beautiful part is I get to take part in bringing this breath-taking God glory!!

I pray you feel His presence and love in powerful ways today!!
Much love!! :)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

How could I forget to mention this...

ONE MORE THING - SUPER IMPORTANT!!!!!

THE STUDENTS ARE COMING TOMORROW!!

All of the students arrive tomorrow throughout the day for summer project! Please pray for safe travels, anxieties replaced with peace, smooth transitions, and a really fun day of getting to know each other!!

Can't wait for them to come!!

Love ya! :)

What a blessed free day! :)

Here are some pics from my first "free" day in Chi-town! This summer we rarely get free days just to explore the city and have some fun - but this was one of them!! Love seeing the city and the different areas! We went to an INCREDIBLE Thai restaurant! Coolest area, coolest restaurant, and the most AMAZING food!!



This is my friend Allison and I attempting to use the chopsticks to eat our food! Notice the completely incorrect way I am holding them! Totally scamming you - I have no idea how to use chopsticks!! :)

This is Beth and Beth (yeah, I typed it right! they are both named Beth!) enjoying their Thai food!


This is what I had leftover after I ate all I could eat!! Yeehaw for leftovers!! :)


This is one of the views from our walk from the train to the restaurant. Love the diversity in the buildings!!


We walked down a road to get to the Thai restaurant and walked by all of the these great old brick buildings with these INCREDIBLE doors!! All of them were different colors - brown, black, blue, green!! Love it!! Such character!! Totally reminded me of the Cosby show - picture their house - it'll come to ya!! :)
What a blessing it was to have the day off!! God knew we all really needed it!! Oh and by the way, I am definitely quickly becoming a pro with Chicago's public transportation system!! (Ok, so "pro" may be stretching it a little! :) ) I am getting better though!! It is actually really fun to experience Chicago using the public transportation! It brings out the "realness" of the city! You have the chance to meet all kinds of cool cats!!
Ok, well, more to come on what God has been doing to spiritually grow, stretch, and remind me of His precious promises and love!!
Love you all!!




Saturday, June 6, 2009

First day and a half...

So.... the first day and a half in Chi-town.... how would I describe it???

Well... total reliance on God comes to mind!! Realizing just what a HUGE step out of my comfort zone this really is!! Also, totally hearing God telling me, "Steph, you had a little too much confidence in yourself - YOU getting yourself through this. It's not YOU doing it, any of it! It's me!!" Boy, did I lose sight of that!! And wow, what a overwhelming relief that reminder was!!

My first night here was rough! I struggled, big time!! The thought definitely went through my mind, how can I get out of this! How can I go home, NOW!! What have I gotten myself into!

But... God totally filled me with His peace. Reassuring me that I AM suppose to be in Chicago; however, He never said it was going to be easy or comfortable!! That's for sure!!
It's hard walking into an experience like this when you are the only one who doesn't already know someone on the project with you. Again, these situations make you rely on your Heavenly Father even more!! But, I've got to say, I would love it if He could come down here physically and give me a BIG hug!! My prayer has just been that He "hugs" me in mighty ways throughout my first few days here, reminding me I am not alone!!

And of course as many of you know... I struggle with feelings of inadequacy. And Satan has definitely played into those insecurities in BIG ways!! Our team, during our prayer time this morning, definitely recognized the fact that we are under spiritual warfare right now! One of our staff got really sick last night! Another is anxiety-ridden over some medical test results she will be receiving on Monday! I am being attacked emotionally and mentally! And we're all pretty tired! We just took some time this morning to bring it all before God and pray against the attacks of the enemy!! Praying for physical, mental/emotional, and spiritual health!!

But what is exciting is... because Satan is attacking so heavily, I recognize that God is going to do big things this summer and Satan doesn't want that to happen!! So, thankful we recognized it as spiritual warfare and took time to fight that with prayer as a group!!

So... that's about all I've got for now! We had a time last night of getting to know each other, looking ahead at the layout of the summer project, and some fun downtown with a stop at the Cheesecake Factory for dessert!! :) Can't wait to become more familiar with my way around Chicago -so much to see and experience!! So easy to get lost!! ;)

Then today we had training ALL day!! Information overload!! Good to have a better idea of the details of the summer, but.... definitely need time to process! More on that to come...

Well, I miss y'all! Pray you are feeling God's presence and love in mighty ways!

Please pray for me - specifically my emotional/mental health and stability! And that I continue to take it moment by moment and look to God to give me only what I need in that moment!

Much love!!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Testimony...

So... 10 DAYS BEFORE I LEAVE FOR CHI-TOWN!!!!!!! Ahhh!!! That is crazy! I can't believe how time flies! Where did May go??

So, I was working on my testimony tonight. I've had it done, ready, familiarized for a long time, but wanted to go over it, revamp, revise, add on to make sure it was updated for my experience in Chicago. Because our big focus while in Chi-town is evangelism - in many different facets.

Who knew that working on your testimony could be such a healing, reflective time with God??!!?? Everyone knows their story, right?? That's what I thought. And I do know my story, but I'm at a place in my life (praise God!!) where I can see/reflect on where He's taken me and where He is taking me. Does that make sense?? It's the coolest thing when God allows you to see growth in your spiritual life!! I look at my journey thus far... all I can say is "That is so God!" What a patient, persistent, unconditionally loving Father we have the blessing of serving!

So, in taking a break from packing to work on my testimony - God gave me a beautiful gift tonight! I love it that we serve a God who does all of the hard work for us - all we have to do is say "yes" and follow in obedience! Not always that easy, I know! But truly that simple! And what incredible beauty comes from that (not comfort necessarily - but who wants a "normal", comfortable life, anyways!!)!

I reflected again tonight on my favorite verse. Zephaniah 3:17 - "The Lord your God is with you - He is mighty to save - He takes great delight in you - He quiets you with His love - He rejoices over you with singing." And what brought me to tears after reflecting on that at the end of my testimony, is the fact that the God who created EVERYTHING and so much more that we are unaware of - that same God delights in me! Not because He has has to, but because He wants to! He rejoices over me with singing! Not because He has to, but because He wants to! And when my heart becomes anxious, heavy, burdened, overwhelmed..., He quiets me with His love!! Not because He has to, but because He loves me that much! That makes me cry!! That overwhelms me (joyfully) with such extravagant love!! Oh what a beautiful God!!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Couple more things...

One more pic... this is me sitting next to the flowers from my motherland! :)



Ok, on a more serious note...
As Chi-town quickly approaches, I am at a point of mixed emotion - super excited and super nervous! I know that God is continuing to prepare me for this experience He has placed on my journey. But with that, unfortunately, comes a lot of feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. And Satan knows I struggle with this and is taking every opportunity to dig the knife in a little deeper. I continue to ask God to turn my heart and mind to the truth that He is preparing me, and I am not the one doing the work this summer - He is!! I simply need to be an open, willing vessel and He will do the rest. That is something I am reminding myself of on a daily basis - sometimes many times a day!

In addition, God is continuing to deepen my trust and faith in Him and His promises! On Thursday, I found out I am getting laid off from my teaching position - no job next year. And with that news comes a lot of sadness because of the deep love I have for what I do and for the girls in my classroom who I am privileged to teach, know, love, and learn from every day!

That being said, as I have continually said along this journey over the last 6 months, what would faith and trust be without uncertainty?? It's working, God! You are definitely strengthening my trust and faith! However, I would love my job back! :)

But we serve a BIG God!!!! A God much bigger than my job or anything I could imagine to be the "perfect" place for me to work/minister! So, although I am sad, overwhelmed a lot of the time, and at times heavy-hearted, I trust God has bigger, better things in store on the journey He has me on!

My approach at this point is like it says in Isaiah 41:13, " For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand, and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."
So, I am holding on to His right hand, looking forward to the ride, knowing I am never alone, and trusting that my God holds me tight and won't let go as we continue to journey together!!

Much love!!