One more pic... this is me sitting next to the flowers from my motherland! :)Ok, on a more serious note...
As Chi-town quickly approaches, I am at a point of mixed emotion - super excited and super nervous! I know that God is continuing to prepare me for this experience He has placed on my journey. But with that, unfortunately, comes a lot of feelings of inadequacy and insecurity. And Satan knows I struggle with this and is taking every opportunity to dig the knife in a little deeper. I continue to ask God to turn my heart and mind to the truth that He is preparing me, and I am not the one doing the work this summer - He is!! I simply need to be an open, willing vessel and He will do the rest. That is something I am reminding myself of on a daily basis - sometimes many times a day!
In addition, God is continuing to deepen my trust and faith in Him and His promises! On Thursday, I found out I am getting laid off from my teaching position - no job next year. And with that news comes a lot of sadness because of the deep love I have for what I do and for the girls in my classroom who I am privileged to teach, know, love, and learn from every day!
That being said, as I have continually said along this journey over the last 6 months, what would faith and trust be without uncertainty?? It's working, God! You are definitely strengthening my trust and faith! However, I would love my job back! :)
But we serve a BIG God!!!! A God much bigger than my job or anything I could imagine to be the "perfect" place for me to work/minister! So, although I am sad, overwhelmed a lot of the time, and at times heavy-hearted, I trust God has bigger, better things in store on the journey He has me on!
My approach at this point is like it says in Isaiah 41:13, " For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand, and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you."
So, I am holding on to His right hand, looking forward to the ride, knowing I am never alone, and trusting that my God holds me tight and won't let go as we continue to journey together!!
Much love!!
hey steph! once again, i love reading your blog, you are just so real... and it's funny b/c i was just praying about my own insecurities this morning!! so, from someone else who struggles with it, i trust that God is already working & preparing you for the work HE intends to do through you in Chi-town! don't give in to the lie that it's somehow up to you & you don't measure up! because regardless of how you measure up, HE is more than capable of making you more than capable! and as for your job... another thing He told me this morning was that He knew this [my issue] was going to happen before i even came to haiti and He's still got it under control! same for you girlie! "HE'S GOT THIS!" :) He didn't bring you this far to leave you on your own! anyway, i LOVE you and i'm excited to see how He leads you through this! Keep trusting! He's still on the throne and you're always His precious girl! love you! jill
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