Buckled in

So, how great is it that when God works on developing a deeper sense of trust in Him, He does it in many aspects of our lives to really develop it on a deeper, more solid level??!!?? I know that I am the type of person (thankfully God knows this too) who needs to learn things in many situations, many opportunities, and on many occasions for it to become really REAL! And that is where I am at right now. God is continuing to refine (and I know this is a life-long process) and deepen my trust in Him. And although it is painful at times, through tears, anger, smiles, and laughter, God is continuing to place on my path opportunities to choose to be obedient to Him and rely on Him where I use to rely on myself, others, or circumstances.

In preparing for Chicago and the uncertainties of what God has planned for my future (within the next 6 months), my mentor put this way... She asked me if I like roller coasters. And of course I said "yes!!". She went on to say, "Think of it this way, you are in line for over an hour to ride this amazing roller coaster. You're all pumped up. Can't wait to ride the new coaster!! You finally get to the head of the line and it's finally your turn! You go to the seat the attendant points you to. Sit down. Then they buckle you in. At this point in your mind (even though you love coasters), you are thinking 'Ok, I am buckled in. I really can't get out at this point even if I wanted to. And I really don't want to.' But the sensation of being buckled in, you're really on the ride, it's really going to take off and happen in just a moment - that sensation is completely settled in. When you were waiting in line, it was still all the excitement and anticipation. But now the time is really here. And you think to yourself, 'What have I gotten myself into!' Even though deep down, you know it's exactly where you're suppose to be and the ride is going to be incredible. So, you do the only thing you can do! Hang on!! And the ride is AMAZING!!! Just like you thought it would be! Yeah, it's scary, but oh so exhilarating!! And at the end, you are SOOOO happy you got on and hung on and rode it out!! You can't imagine not having gone on that ride!"

Well, I'm at the part of being buckled in. :) I know I'm suppose to be on the ride. I'm excited to be there. But I'm also scared at the same time! And the reality of being "buckled in" has really settled on me!

So, my prayer is leading up to Chicago, packing up all my stuff to put in storage, not knowing if I will have a job in the fall, not knowing where I will live upon my return, and not knowing what God has planned for Chicago and how that will impact the trajectory of the journey He has me on - I am praying God just takes me on the ride and I just hang and enjoy every moment - scary, sad, painful, happy, and joy-filled! ALL OF IT!! Uncertainty and all! Because these are the moments where God reveals Himself in big ways and I don't want to miss a minute of knowing and loving Him more!!!!!!!